I remember with clarity the first time I attempted to breastfeed my newborn son in a public setting (in actuality, though amidst a group of people, we were still in the privacy and comfort of a good friend’s home.) I was doing my best to make breastfeeding work since I had learned during pregnancy all the benefits of breastfeeding for both myself and my baby. I knew that exclusively breastfeeding would provide my son with antibodies that would help him fight infections and even lower his chances of developing allergies.
Already, it had proven very effective in helping me shed the weight I’d gained during pregnancy, and it certainly seemed to be intensifying the mother-baby bond we shared.
However, the reality of round-the-clock nursing, as I strove to feed my son ‘on demand’ as instructed by his pediatrician, was also taking its toll on me physically and emotionally; for that first month of my son’s life, the thought of nursing him in any public setting made me want to burst into tears.
Anxiety filled me every time I thought about publicly breastfeeding. What if someone harassed me for doing so? What if I was stared at, lectured, or asked to leave a public place simply because of how I chose to feed my child despite my confidence that it was the best choice for us both?
Whether a woman chooses to breastfeed or bottle feed her baby, she should be able to feed and care for her child at any time, anywhere, without fear of judgment from others.
In honor of August being National Breastfeeding Month, here are some tips for how to most comfortably and confidently breastfeed in public:
Know Your Rights!
Though it may come as a surprise, “there is no national law about breastfeeding in public. It is up to your state to decide. In 49 states, there are laws that allow moms to breastfeed in any public or private place,” reports USDA WIC Breastfeeding Support. Additionally, all 50 states exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws with few exceptions.
If someone makes a snide comment, the first step is to stay calm—for your sake and your baby’s—and remember that while you can’t control their actions, you can control how you respond.
Education (a quick overview of the benefits of breastfeeding to mom and baby) or humor (a light-hearted comment about ‘not making others eat in the bathroom or under a blanket’) are both good responses, depending on the situation.
Ultimately, the most impactful response will be one made with kindness and consideration for the other, as you never know what another person may be going through or may have undergone in the past (perhaps their own struggle with nursing.) If you need to, don’t hesitate to contact a nearby authority figure, like a store manager or officer, to politely voice your concerns.
Find A Support System!
Whether it’s a lactation consultant, your local La Leche League, or your significant other, don’t be afraid to reach out for support and reassurance from those equipped and ready to help, especially if you find breastfeeding difficult in general.
Talk with your support system about your worries and see what tips they have. If it’s your significant other, perhaps discuss a plan of action for handling being called out for breastfeeding in public. Most of all, no matter your struggles, remember that you are not alone!
Know Your Options!
Any time you are breastfeeding in public, you want to make sure both you and your baby are as comfortable as possible. Depending on what state you live in, you have options as to whether you choose to use a nursing cover or not.
Nursing covers come in several different styles; I personally recommend finding one made of light, breathable fabric to ensure neither you nor your baby gets overheated while breastfeeding, especially during the summer months. If you decide it’s easier to breastfeed sans cover, there are still ways to be discreet, including wearing tank tops and undershirts with normal necklines; this allows you to nurse your baby without exposing more skin than what you are personally comfortable with. During the fall or winter, scarves can also help provide additional coverage.
Depending on where you are, you can also sit towards the edge or back of the room or area so that it doesn’t feel as if all eyes are on you. Some public spaces even provide lactation rooms in which women can nurse or pump in privacy.
Dress For Comfort!
There’s nothing worse than trying to breastfeed while uncomfortable, so remember to dress in a way that you find comfortable and convenient. In addition to wearing layers, wear an appropriate bra, such as a nursing bra, sports bra, or bra without an underwire. These are the easiest to maneuver out of the way while breastfeeding and are also the most comfortable options.
Take It All In Stride!
As La Leche League member Kristin Wilmes so aptly puts it, “As a mother, you have to be bold enough to do what is right for you and your baby. Do not be swayed by the opinions of others. There will be people who look down on you no matter what you do; therefore, do what is right for you and your own baby.”
While the reality is that you may face scrutiny for your decision to breastfeed in public, be confident in your decision to care for your baby in the way that you know best.
For me personally, it took several weeks of experimenting with different nursing positions and covers, learning how to pump so that I could take a bottle with us to places inconvenient for nursing publicly (the zoo, for example), and just becoming more comfortable and relaxed with breastfeeding in general. Eventually, I finally felt as if I’d gotten the hang of feeding my baby both in the privacy of peoples’ homes and in various public settings. It was both freeing and calming to know I was capable of feeding my child wherever we were.
All mothers deserve the peace of mind that comes with knowing they can feed their children confidently, regardless of the situation.
